Senses
by siophiefandom
Summary: When Emily gets lost in the woods in the middle of a snowstorm, it's Paige to the rescue. They have a lot to talk about. One-shot. Paily.


_This was bad._

Emily Fields wasn't one to panic. In all her years of swimming, she had been conditioned by her coaches to control her mind and her heart rate in stressful situations. And her father, an Army Ranger, had drilled into her, over and over, that the worst thing to do in a crisis was to lose one's head. By remaining calm and rational, he told her, she could find a way out, even from what seemed to be impossible circumstances.

But this was bad.

Emily had lost the trail and lost her bearings. Her phone had died, taking away not only her means of communication, but also her GPS. The thick layer of snow on the ground obscured the trails. Nobody would come looking for her; nobody knew she was there.

Her feet were getting numb, but she felt that she had to keep moving, to keep her blood circulating. And, if she kept moving, she hoped that she could find some kind of landmark; some sign of civilization; some beacon of hope to guide her.

But there was none.  
This was bad.

All of a sudden, Emily felt a sense of calm fall over her. She felt beyond her senses; not warm, but no longer cold. She relaxed into the feeling of comfortable numbness as everything around her began slowly fading to black.

* * *

Touch:

Emily tried to make sense of where she was. She was horizontal. She was naked. She was shivering, but she felt something warm and soft on top of her, and a steadying warmth behind her.

 _This must be the afterlife. No clothes in Heaven - just like the Garden of Eden. The transformation must be taking place._

She surrendered to the feeling. The crisis and the snow were behind her. She didn't know what was ahead, but she was sure that she was now past the worst of it. She let her eyes close and let her blood vessels transmit the soothing warmth to all of her extremities.

* * *

Hearing:

When the next wave of consciousness swept over Emily, the warming sensation from behind her was no longer there. Her body, she realized, was warming itself on its own, at that point. Off in the distance, there was the sound of falling water; a waterfall, or maybe a gurgling river. _There is a river._ That sounded familiar. Rivers of living water? The stream of life?

Whatever it was, the sound was steady and calming. Before Emily could quite get it figured out, it had lulled her back to sleep again.

* * *

Sight:

There was a sliver of light, piercing through the darkness in the room. Emily remembered hearing something about a white light. _Come towards the light._

Emily lifted her head from the pillow (Perhaps it was a cloud? The space around her was too dark for her to determine.) and looked toward the light. There was a figure in white, silhouetted in the opening of light. No wings, but a robe of white. That sounded familiar. _Angels in robes of white._

The crack disappeared, taking the sliver of light with it. Once again, it was dark all around her. _It was not my time_ – or had she missed her window?

* * *

Smell:

Coffee. Was there coffee in the afterlife? It certainly smelled divine. Emily rolled over to her side, turning towards the smell. An infusion of caffeine would certainly bring her back to her senses. But the scent was too distant and Emily's weakened body couldn't hold out. She succumbed, once again, to the tug of sleep.

* * *

Taste:

"Fields, Emily… Female"

The words, at first sounding muffled and tinny, began getting more and more clear as Emily's consciousness returned. The voice was confident, assured.

"Twenty-one years old… Five foot seven… 125 pounds."

Was this her induction into the heavenly realms? Saint Peter's assistant providing her vital statistics to the admissions desk at the Pearly Gates?

Emily strained to force her eyes open, gasping as a blurred figure speaking into a cell phone faded into clarity.

Paige McCullers.

This wasn't Emily's first dream – waking or asleep – to feature Paige. Paige McCullers: the captain of the field hockey team; a feared striker on the soccer team; the kind of ballsy woman that always held an attraction for Emily. Back in high school, Emily had sat in the stands for countless games, dreaming that Paige would somehow notice her. Even after they went their separate ways for college, Emily had awakened, sweaty and panting, from many dreams that ended just before Paige's lips connected with hers.

So, this time, alive, dead, or somewhere in between, she wasn't surprised that her subconscious mind had transported her once again into Paige McCullers' bed.

Paige glanced over at Emily when she ended her phone call, leaning over her as she observed, "Oh. You're awake."

Emily wasn't going to let this dream end prematurely, as all of the others had: before she experienced the taste of Paige's lips. She sat up quickly in the bed, letting the blanket fall away from her bare chest, and grabbed Paige behind the neck, pulling her in for a kiss.

* * *

 _It was like a dream._

Paige knew that it was wrong to let Emily, who was obviously still delirious, kiss her like that.

But she didn't stop her.

She didn't want to stop her.

Paige had worshiped Emily from a distance ever since she realized that her attraction to women was more than just casual admiration or a phase. She had noticed Emily in the stands, surrounded by her swimmer friends, during several of her matches in high school. She herself had dared to sneak into a couple of the swim team's meets for the chance to see Emily in action, although she always remained off in the shadows of the bleachers, unable even to speak to her crush.

It had been three years since they went their separate ways, off to separate colleges and separate lives. Paige had never expected to see Emily again, yet Emily's measurements, which Paige had read in the crudely photocopied programs from those swim meets back in high school, were still burned into her memory. That was how Paige was able to answer the nurse's questions when she called the hospital to update them about Emily's condition and to get their advice. The roads were out, and Emily's temperature was normal. The nurse commended Paige for the first aid that she had rendered the night before, and advised her to keep Emily comfortable. If things took a turn for the worse, Paige was to call 911.

Paige had been out walking in the woods around her family's cabin on that night, despite the storm. She needed to clear her mind. Her plans and dreams for the week – a romantic getaway with her girlfriend, Alyssa – had been dashed. Paige had planned for them to return to campus as fiancées, but Alyssa broke things off before they even left for the airport. She said that Paige wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Maybe she was right, Paige admitted to herself. Maybe the ring and the champagne that she bought were merely an attempt to prove to her girlfriend – and to herself – that she was ready to move on from high school.

As Paige wandered the trails that she knew like the back of her hand, she saw a figure propped up against a tree. She ran over to investigate, unable to believe that someone could be out there. Unable to believe who it was. The nearest lodge was a few miles away. Paige had no idea how Emily had gotten there.

But that wasn't important. Emily was in bad shape.

Paige's survival training kicked in. She got Emily into a firefighter's carry and beelined it back to the cabin. Emily was hypothermic. Paige knew what she had to do. She quickly took the cold, snow-dampened clothes off of Emily. In this situation, with time of the essence and Emily's life in the balance, Paige didn't even see it as the bare body of the woman for whom all of those feelings in high school had never died. She saw a human being, in mortal danger.

Still, the next phase of the treatment was going to be awkward. Paige knew that the most efficient way to get Emily's body temperature back to a normal, life-sustaining level, was with body heat. With no time to hesitate or think, she laid Emily in the bed, got undressed, and lay down next to her. It was painful to hold her body against Emily's icy skin, but Paige lay unflinching against her, laboriously coaxing her body temperature back to normal, her arms keeping Emily close whenever she took to thrashing about, delirious, in her sleep.

Paige was up early the next morning, but, knowing that Emily's body needed sleep more than food, she let her sleep most of the day away, keeping the door to the bathroom open as she showered, so that she could hear in case Emily, disoriented, got out of the bed. Emily was no longer thrashing, but her sleep was fitful, and she was mumbling to herself. Paige occasionally pressed a warm compress onto her forehead, smoothing her hair away, thinking, somehow, that she was brushing aside whatever demons were tormenting Emily's sleep as her body worked on getting all of its systems back on-line.

After a quick, late breakfast and some coffee (much needed following her sleepless vigil at Emily's side), Paige returned to the bedroom and called the hospital in the nearest town, filling them in on Emily's plight and her current condition. As she ended the call, she felt Emily's eyes on her.

"Oh. You're awake."

And then, the kiss.

Paige realized how wrong it was when she came to her senses. Her first concern had to be Emily's safety. When she backed away from Emily, Emily saw the panic in her eyes – panic that alerted Emily to the fact that this wasn't a dream.

Emily gasped, pulling the blanket over her bare chest. She peeked at Paige once before she pulled the blanket all the way over her head, repeating, "Oh, my God! Oh my God!" over and over.

"I'll… um… I'll let you get dressed," Paige said, feeling worse than guilty. "I washed your clothes, or you can help yourself to anything of mine." Paige hurried out of the room, closing the door forcefully, to make sure that Emily heard it close.

* * *

Paige put together some food for Emily to eat. She did it partly out of the knowledge that Emily would be starving and dehydrated, but mostly because she, herself, needed something to keep her occupied, to calm herself down. Her mind was racing. She didn't know how Emily would react to what she had done the night before. After all, Paige wasn't just some random girl. She had pretty much stalked Emily back in high school; back when she was unsure of herself and of what to make of her those feelings that she got around pretty girls in general. And around Emily, in particular.

She knew that she could explain everything that she had done, if only Emily were calm enough to listen to her explanation.

The door to the bedroom creaked slowly open. Paige braced herself for the worst.

Emily gripped the door with both hands as she closed it, scanning her surroundings. When she saw a plate of food on the counter, she ran toward it, almost without thinking. She downed the tall glass of water in one gulp, and Paige, standing on the other side of the counter with a weak smile, refilled it, only to see Emily to drain it just as quickly a second time. As Emily lifted a forkful of scrambled eggs to her lips, she noticed her phone, plugged into a charger, and reached for it.

"Sorry," Paige said, explaining, "I didn't know what number to call to let people know what happened, and I couldn't unlock your phone. Your mom and your friends must be worried sick."

Emily shook her head, covering her lips with the back of her hand as she spoke with her mouth full. "Nobody knows I'm out here."

"What were you doing out there, Emily?"

"I... just... I don't know." Emily didn't know how to tell Paige how her life had gone south. She had been running from everything, ever since the injury that took her first love – swimming – away from her. She had been lying to her family and her friends ever since the Pepperdine fiasco. She couldn't stay in California and she couldn't go back home. She was doing the only thing that she knew how to do: running away. But, as she should have learned from cruel experience, she was never able to outrun her troubles.

"I'm... I'm sorry. For kissing you like that. I was..."

"Emily." Paige was looking away, shaking her head in guilt and anger. "You're not the one who should be apologizing. I knew that you were delirious from the hypothermia. I shouldn't have let it happen. It was wrong."

Emily nodded her head. It would have been easy for her to forgive Paige and put the whole, embarrassing incident behind her. But she didn't want that. Emily had been running for so long that she had almost forgotten how to fight. But she was tired of running. She decided to stand up and fight.

Emily slammed her hands on the counter to strengthen her resolve. It startled Paige, who trembled a little as Emily stood and walked over to her, so close that Paige couldn't avoid her gaze.

"No," Emily practically shouted.

Paige braced herself. This was the reaction she had anticipated. She didn't know how much Emily remembered from the night before or that morning, but she knew that Emily was justified in her anger.

"I may have been delirious, or whatever, last night. And I admit that I thought it was a dream when I kissed you. But that doesn't mean that it was a mistake." Emily closed her eyes for a moment to steel herself. "That was precisely why I kissed you – because I thought that I was dreaming again. I thought that the only chance I would ever get to kiss you was in a dream. I'm sorry that I took advantage of the situation, Paige." Emily shook her head. "But I'm not sorry that I kissed you."

Emily stared at Paige, hoping for a reaction, but Paige just looked away. Emily was beyond frustrated. Why couldn't Paige accept the fact that Emily had feelings for her? Or maybe Paige simply wasn't interested. Emily turned away from Paige, leaning on the counter for support. She suddenly realized how foolish she was being. This was Paige McCullers, "The Next Big Thing," on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and just about every other magazine that covered women's soccer. Their lives had gone in opposite directions since high school. Why would Paige possibly be interested in someone like her?

"I'm sorry," Emily said, her eyes riveted to the tiles on the counter. "You must have women throwing themselves at you all the time. Not to mention a girlfriend."

Paige ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled long and slowly. "Yeah. I _had_ a girlfriend," she said sadly. "She was supposed to be with me up here this week."

Emily turned around, no longer full of self-pity. Hearing the sadness in Paige's voice, she was now only concerned for her. "Oh, Paige, I'm so sorry." She touched Paige's shoulder without realizing it. "What happened?"

Paige smiled weakly. "She... wasn't... you," she admitted timidly. Emily furrowed her eyebrows, confused. Paige sighed deeply. "She was a substitute, because I could never have the real thing. And, if I'm honest, Emily, every relationship I've had has ended the same way." Paige shrugged her shoulders. "Eventually, they end up frustrated over the fact that... I never got over my feelings for someone else."

Emily fell into the stool, gobsmacked. "Wow."

"I know that it wasn't fair of me to put that on you. I just..."

"You mean," Emily interrupted, "all of those times, when I was trying to get you to notice me, you were..."

Emily let the question dangle.

Paige hadn't caught up with what Emily was implying. "Emily... I... you mean... What?"

"Why do you think I came to all your matches in high school?" Emily teasingly shoved Paige's shoulder.

"I don't know," Paige said honestly. "You were always with your friends."

Emily stood up and walked over to Paige, taking her hands. "And they were always telling me that I should go up and say something to you, but..."

"I wish you had!"

"I wish _you_ had." Paige dipped her head. "But, hey." Emily used her fingers to lift Paige's chin, laughing slightly, to lighten things up. "You saved my life, so I guess it's okay."

* * *

Emily devoured the overloaded plate of food in front of her – and the one that Paige followed it up with – and wobbled over to the couch, collapsing onto it, letting her head fall back against the cushions. She had her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around her stomach.

Paige stood over her, with a worried frown. "How do you feel?" she asked in a soft voice.

Emily smiled. "Bloated." She burped, open-mouthed, not even bothering to move her hands to cover her mouth. "Oops," she said, laughing. "Excuse me!"

Paige laughed, too.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just… How do you make burping come out cute?"

"You think that's cute," Emily said, with a wink and a click of her tongue, "wait till it starts coming out of the other end!" Paige's jaw dropped. "Oh, come on, Paige! Don't be so uptight! You've seen me naked, for goodness' sake!" Paige's face turned a bright pink, and she looked away from Emily. Emily nudged her with her knee. "Hey, I'm only, kidding, Paige."

Paige plopped down onto the couch next to her. "I know. But, I guess, we should really talk about that."

Emily nodded, scooting away a bit, so that she could look at Paige while still giving her some space.

Paige told her how she had come across her in the woods, and about everything else that happened, only occasionally risking a look in Emily's direction as she spoke. Emily let her finish, uninterrupted, knowing that she needed to get the story out. She gave Paige's knee a squeeze a couple of times, when she sensed Paige starting to feel too nervous or guilty. Emily understood why Paige had done the things that she did. She knew that Paige hadn't taken advantage of the situation.

When Paige finished her story, she looked at Emily and then looked down at her hands in her lap. "Wow." Emily pulled herself in closer, staring intensely into Paige's eyes. "So, what do you say to the woman who saved your life?"

"Say you'll stay here with me?" Paige smiled weakly, hopeful. "I mean, it's not as if you can leave, anyway. Not until they get the roads clear."

Emily gave Paige a kiss on the cheek. "I don't want to leave."

* * *

Paige settled in on the couch. Emily sat next to her. She was so close that it made Paige a little nervous. Emily started playing with Paige's hair, tugging lightly on a few strands and letting them fall. "You're kind of a mystery, aren't you, Paige McCullers?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're a beast on the field, but, one on one, you're like this timid little teddy bear."

Paige scoffed. "Don't I know it…" She shook her head slowly, then started talking to her knees. "Everyone has these expectations of me, just because I'm… physically talented. I feel as if I have to be _that_ person, or else – I don't know. I'll let down everybody's expectations." Paige sat back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "Sometimes, I wish that – just once – I could just be myself."

Emily turned toward Paige, tucking a knee under herself on the couch. She began playing with Paige's hair again. "You can be yourself with me," she offered sincerely, leaning over to put her face closer to Paige's.

Paige just shrugged, not looking over at Emily's expression. She'd heard that story before.

"Paige," Emily said slowly, "do you remember when we had gym together in 6th grade?"

Paige shrugged again. "Sorry. I don't really remember too much about middle school. It was kind of a hard time for me."

"Well, do you remember Tommy Platt?" Paige smiled. She couldn't forget Tommy. "You were like, this big jock, even back then. And everybody wanted to be on your team. And Tommy was always the last kid anyone would pick. And I remember, when we started softball, Coach Reynolds made you one of the captains. You had the first pick, and you said, 'Tommy! You're on my team, buddy!' And his face lit up like a Christmas tree." Paige smiled, starting to remember the incident that Emily was telling her about. "That's when I first knew that there was something special about you."

"Were you on my team?" Paige really didn't remember.

"No." Emily chuckled. "You chose all the misfits; all the leftovers. And I… I had my crew, you know?" Emily was trying to be modest about the fact that she was one of the popular kids.

"Yeah, well, I knew how it felt to be a misfit"

Emily was still stroking her hair casually, and it was starting to feel good to Paige. "I really _wanted_ to be on your team, though," Emily admitted. "Whenever we played you, it looked as if you guys were having so much fun."

"We lost every single game," Paige said, smiling contentedly at the memory.

"If I had known," Emily admitted haltingly, "that I had feelings for girls back then… I would've known that I had feelings for you." Emily let go of Paige's hair and put her hand on her shoulder. The look in Paige's eyes confirmed that Emily hadn't read the signals wrong. She leaned in, and Paige met her lips with a slow, passionate kiss. Paige finally realized that what Emily felt for her was real; that Emily wasn't one of those people who had fallen in love with the superstar. Emily was attracted to something deeper.

As the kissing continued, their bodies grew closer together. Emily eventually ended up in Paige's lap, with her fingers in Paige's hair, as Paige gripped her tight around the waist. They had a lot of lost time to make up for.

* * *

After a couple of bad movies, some more food, and a lot more kissing, Emily caught Paige trying to stifle a yawn. She stood up, extending her hands to Paige, on the couch. "Come on," she teased, "let's get you to bed." When Paige stood up, Emily met her with a kiss. "Are you going to stay with me and keep me warm again?"

Paige nodded eagerly, smiling at the thought. "But, this time," she said in a low, raspy voice, "we'll keep our clothes on!"

Emily smiled, swinging Paige's hand as she pulled her toward the bedroom. "It's a deal!"

Paige lent Emily a toothbrush and some pajamas. She let her get ready for bed, then joined her underneath the blanket.

Emily felt safe, with Paige's arms around her. _You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest._ The line came to her from an old song that her father used to love listening to. As they lay there in silence, Emily's mind conjured up more lyrics from the song.

 _Let me die in your arms._

The night before, in Paige's bed, Emily thought that she had died, and she was at peace with that. She felt a different kind of peace this night, safe in Paige's arms.

 _Let me lie down beside you  
Let me always be with you._

 _Could this be my always?_ Emily wondered.

* * *

There was something about wrapping her body around Emily's that felt right to Paige. But she was still dogged by an unanswered question. She took a breath before she spoke, breaking the serene moment that they were sharing. "You never told me what you were doing alone in the woods last night."

Emily sighed and rolled over to face Paige. She placed her hand on Paige's cheek, lightly stroking her thumb against it. She was unsure about how to say what she was going to say, and she needed the touch. She needed to feel connected.

"Do you believe in fate?" Emily, looking into Paige's eyes in the semi-darkness of the room, was met with only a blank stare. She swallowed and continued. "I took a wrong turn last night, and I got lost. Only, I didn't really get lost. I was looking for something. I was looking for somebody, and I wound up here."

And then, the kiss.

* * *

 **A/N – Thanks so much to GirlfromGermany, an incredibly prolific reviewer, who supplied the (very specific) prompt for this story.**

 **Sometimes, I have a hard time getting a handle on a story... I kind of struggled with this one. If it left you dissatisfied, please allow me to refer you to the story, "Cold Front," by Trufreak89 (an author whom every Paily fan should know!). It's a fic that explores the same premise, but in a multi-chapter format, and with all of the art and skill that she brings to everything that she writes.**

 **Finally, the lyrics near the end are from "Annie's Song," by John Denver, which haunted me as I wrote this story.**

 **Thanks for reading! :)  
**


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